The Unexpected

It’s been a rough week. Well “rough” is an understatement. It’s been more than rough but I’m not even sure what other word to use to describe how this week has been.

We received some news at work. It wasn’t the best of news and it certainly wasn’t anything ANYONE was expecting just 32 days into the New Year.

But it wouldn’t be my company if the unexpected didn’t happen at the weirdest of times. Not only am I thoroughly confused by the events of this first not even full week of February but I’m sadden. Sadden that it has to happen this way.

Sadden that the possibility of the unknown and unexpected might even come more frequently sooner rather than later.

Perhaps this is a sign. A sign to start preparing my exit strategy. To start polishing up my venacular and writing skills. Working on skills that should come second nature to me but not really anymore because I allowed myself to become too comfortable in my situation. I decided to not be as overly cautious as I usually am.

But as the old saying goes, everything happens for a reason. Surprises and/or challenges, good or bad, can come at any time of a person’s life and what one does in those instances is what changes the future for the better and sometimes for the worst. But you go through it because every moment of life is a learning experience.

So here’s to being more cautious and aware. To keeping my eyes and ears open extra wide just in case the unexpected unknown affects me.

I know I’m rambling on and on and on and on in some weird cracked out code but I just needed to get some things off ma chest.

Thanks for letting me vent…

 

the southern yankee 

Happy New Year!

I recently turned the ripe young age of 37.

For you obnoxious youngens who have issues with growing older, that is STILL considered young. Your age does not factor into how old you feel, behave or think. In fact, most people would say I have the mindset and sense of humor of a teenage boy lol! I cannot help my mind stays in the gutta 24/7/365 (or in this year’s case 366).

And while I do not have issues with my age as a number, I do indeed have issues with the impending dreaded number that is now three years in front of me.

It never fails. Every New Year since the age of 35, I have had these cry myself to sleep moments where I question my every existence. I wonder if and when I’ll finally get off my lazy ass and do something more than what I am doing currently.

I wonder if I’ll have that house with the dream kitchen I’ve been pinning so furiously about.

I wonder if my daughter will seek me out.

I wonder if I’ll have another child or two. twins or triplets would be great God so i only have to be pregnant once.. thaaaaaanks.

I wonder if I’ll land that dream job I’ve always dreamed of and/or talked about. Sports Illustrated I’m talking to you!

So much pondering yet little to no action behind my endless day dreaming.

This New Year I am not making any resolutions as I don’t usually make good on them in the first place. This year I think I’m just going to take each and every day one at a time. I don’t want to plan my life out anymore. Partly because I continuously set myself up for failure and disappointment. Partly because I don’t know what I want to do with my life anymore.

All I DO know is that life is too short and I feel that my life is wasting away by doing nothing with it. I know how utterly depressing of me to say but I’m in that kind of mood right now.

Anyway… thank you again for following me on this journey called life. I promise to one day get better at this blogging thing!

 

Thanks for reading…

 

the southern yankee

 

Know Thyself Challenge: Day 3

Day 3: What’s the BEST writing advice you ever received?
——–
Considering my writer’s mind works in a multidimensional complex and on two separate writing planes, it’s really sorta difficult to determine which piece of writing advice is the absolute BEST.

On one hand, my first love as a writer was journalism. The short, sweet and to the fucking point of the average newspaper sentence or paragraph plays into my laziness. The ability to tell a story in as few words as possible has never been a special talent of mine but I have found it quite helpful when writing emails at my job.

On the other hand, the perpetual English student in me enjoys utilizing every inch of my active almost child like imagination. The fact that I can use words to manipulate thought, trigger various emotions and transport readers to other worlds or at least further into mine is a challenge I’m determined to master.

But with all of this said, I’m still at the fucking beginning with trying to answer what is the BEST advice I’ve ever received. The truth of the matter, the majority of the writing advice I’ve “received” in my life time has come from quotes from writers I’ve found on Pinterest. Don’t look at me like that. I speak truth mayne.

One such quote is:

Write drunk; edit sober ~Ernest Hemingway

I’d all over that if I could afford the amount of boozes needed just to write everyday. What? I drank like a damn fish!

Another is:

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you. ~Maya Angelou

I’m a shy and most times quiet person but I have more than enough to say. I let my emotions fuel my writing because I do t know how to control them without first writing them down. My head tends to feel heavy and clouded not because I’m stressed or applied too much hair product although that has indeed crossed my mind before but because I think too fucking much. I have so many memories that pop in my head at the most inconvenient times of the day. I am constantly working up plan A B C D E F G and H because I always have a backup for my backups.

I take risks with my writing to see what kind of reaction I might receive.

My blog isn’t one dimensional for a reason. I could never be able to write about one aspect of my life or one of the many concepts and ideals I’ve learned about throughout my lifetime.

Which, I suppose, brings me to the best advice I’ve ever received in my life. A former supervisor of mine would say but four little words when there was really nothing else to say or do. And honestly, I have to say I use it almost daily.

Ready? It’s really simple and can be easily applied to any situation, especially writing.

fuck it, why not? 

Yep that’s it! Short. Sweet. And to the mutha fuckin point!

It isn’t profound or something some great philosopher or psychological prodigy ever muttered to an international leader. But I find that it allows me to not take a situation or whatever it is I’m working on so completely seriously that I become stressed out more than I really should.

Truthfully, I can get pretty wound up for no reason other than because I can which isn’t healthy emotionally or physically. I worry for no reason other than I can and where does it ever get me?

Absolutely no where! So fuck it!

Thanks for reading….

the southern yankee 

A Random Wordy Tuesday

I’d be lying if I said I hardly ever remember the small insignificant little aspects of my life. I’d be lying if I said those insignificant little aspects didn’t still have some sort of affect on me mentally as well as emotionally. I have issues with remembering shit and people at the most inconvenient of times. I have issues trusting and believing in the simplest of concepts.

My life is comprised of people who both inspire me to be the best I can be and those who I have yet to understand their purpose in my life. My heart yearns for the connections that could possibly be severed for life. I indulge in the what ifs and coulda woulda shoulda waaaaaay more than I really should. Not only is it unhealthy but these thoughts of inadequacy, insecurity and uselessness carried over to how I treat people. Which is unfair and unwarranted.

On a day I should be and part of me is happy, I’m reminded of the many opportunities I’m missing out on. On a day when I have a million fucking thangs to do at work, I’m sitting at the dealer protesting the necessity to leave right this second. On a day when I am obviously blessed to see the sun shining and the air against my face, I want nothing more than to be in bed with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s coffee Heath crunch, a slice of genuine New York cheesecake and some mega stuffed Oreos. don’t judge me!

I promise I’m not going through one of my bouts of depression. yeah I know I sound that way tho I just often have waaaaaay too much time to think. Random asinine thoughts flood my brain as if I ain’t got shit else to think about. the randomness of other people’s actions, opinions, personalities, style of dress, etc trigger a multitude of memories and emotions that I really don’t wanna deal with.

As I get older, the more I realize I want more outta life. I want the simple aspects of life. I want the “that would be the least of my problems” aspects of life instead of the “fuck! Not this bullshit again!” Is that asking too much outta life?

Perhaps I am. Perhaps the cliché “good things come to those that wait” is true but as my sis says “I’m getting too old for this shit!”

Thas for reading…

 

the southern yankee 

 

Writer-vation: Milestone Monday

I can hardly believe it’s been five years since I started this blog. Geez time has flown by so quickly.

In five years, I’ve written almost 250 post; which I hope to double that number sooner rather than later; and have gained over a hundred followers; which, I have to say, shocks me every time I look at my blog stats.

I never really imagined even having that many followers much alone posting so many post because well I’m lazy as fuck. As you all know, I’m really sporadic when it comes to posting. I really don’t adhere to one particular topic nor do I follow any sort of writing/blogging/grammar rules. I write cuz I am in the mood or cuz I happen to be motivated by something.  I suppose one could say I’m museless. is that even a word “museless” ni modo Ima roll wit it.

I could and prolly should write more to perhaps invigorate my creative writer’s mind but it takes effort. I dunno I’m at a point again in my writer lifetime where I’m blocked mentally and emotionally. I find myself having more than enough to say just not enough time or motivation to write. But what else is new?

So with that said, I would like to say thank you thank you to those who have signed up to witness the most random weird madness that is my writing, life and blog. Please feel free to drop a line or two in the comment section. I hope you guys stay aboard the crazy train.

 

Thanks for reading…

 

the southern yankee