Tag Archives: life goals

Lemons

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Life at this moment sucks here comes the pity parade because at my age I should be doing more with my life. In eleven days, I will be the ripe old age of thirty-five! BIG 3-5 my sister said the other day! But I don’t feel as if I should be turning thirty-five. I don’t feel like I want to turn thirty-five either because like most insanely over analytical females, I had a list of shit that needed to be accomplished by this particular birthday. In my mind, I would be in some degree a supervisor or manager at a company I loved to no end or at least a small business owner. My child would be turning five cuz I wanted to have another baby at thirty so he or she would be starting school and being this great I realize that this word ‘great’ is used loosely as this would be MY spawn lol well behaved again my child I use that loosely child who loved learning just as much as mommy. My significant other and I would have either a condo in the city or a cute little house in the burbs with a red door and a moderately huge backyard. Blah blah blah you get the picture don’t you?

And not that any of that cannot still happen, I’m quickly beginning to realize that perhaps it may be time to start making some Southern le-mon-ade pronounced slowly with a long e and o. I’m not saying I have given up or am giving up my dream to have the above mentioned life goals. It’s just at this time I have to be realistic. I have to find a way to be happy AND grateful with everything I currently have in my life. Of course, I must also find a way to do that without settling.

I
Refuse to
Fucking
Settle!

Not in my fucking vocabulary and certainly not something my mom ever instilled in me as a child growing up in the country. first major accomplishment was to move the fuck outta Pledger fucking Podunkville Texas. My life in both my mom’s eyes and mine wasn’t supposed to be this way. It wasn’t supposed to be consumed with le-mon-ade stands that didn’t sell a drop of lemonade because the lemons were too bitter and sour. When I left for Baylor, I knew in my heart Cheycara Elaine was going to be more than the city slicker posing as a country girl from a single parent home. I knew that whatever God given talent I possessed would propel me into greatness or at least local fame.

But I still haven’t achieved greatness or local fame. enter the fucking pity party I feel as if this lemon was put here for a reason. To teach me something that obviously I’m not seeing right away. Either which way, I’m struggling. I’m struggling to find my way back to the person I once knew while dealing with the person I’ve become. It consumes far too much of my time and energy. Prevents me from being seen as the person I have so conceitedly prided myself on. Disrupts every last thought and emotion.

How do I make bitter sour lemons taste like sweet nectar without adding a little something extra? mmmmm Bacardi Límon with Sprite and freshly squeezed lemon juice sounds rather tasty!!! How am I supposed to conquer and not settle if this one aspect of my life invades every conversation I have with anyone? which lemme tell you annoy the living fuck outta me How do I go from wanting to throw the lemon as far as I possibly can partly so I never have to see it again to firmly rolling the lemon on the table to make the fruit juicier and softer to squeeze?

As cliché as this will sound, I cannot try to reinvent the wheel and/or the materials that goes into the modern day wheel. which seems to be shit since they can easily blow on one inner city pothole To be perfectly honest, this lemon will continue to consume my every being if I do not stop, let go and let God. I’ve done it before with other lemons and I can most certainly do so with this one.

Thanks for reading….

The Southern Yankee

Day 5: Something You Hope to Do in Your Life

As defined by oxforddictionaries.com/us/ a bucket list is a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime.

I never really considered making a bucket list until I watched the movie “The Bucket List” with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson; however, I didn’t actually compile a list until much later.

See the original concept for this blog was to chronicle my journey towards completing my bucket list. I would post the original list and add or delete items as I saw fit. It was going to be GREAT! But uhhhh that was two years ago and I have yet to accomplish anything on my bucket list.

With this being Day 5: Something You Hope to Do in Your Life of the 30 Days of Truth challenge, I figured it might be time to revisit my bucket list, make some much-needed revisions and perhaps condense it from thirty-items to perhaps seven.

Here are some things I hope to do in my life.

  • Spend Christmas with my oldest brother in California
    • My brother and I are so close one would never know we’ve only seen each once in our entire lives. We fight and poke fun at each other like we grew up in the same house or at least spent time at each other’s homes every summer. I thank the Lord every day that I have such a pain in the ass brother who loves his beautiful and intelligent little sister to pieces. Go ahead tell him what I said. I don’t care. LOL I’ve called him worse to his face. The plan is to save at least $1500 by October 2013. Yes it’s a lot of money but I really want this. But mums the word okay?
  • Attend Rose Bowl Parade and Game
    • Year after year without utter fail, I watch the Rose Bowl and Parade. Well, lemme rephrase that statement. I watch the Rose Bowl Parade without fail; the game is a different story. Since the game is not the grand puba of college football games, I really haven’t “wanted” to watch. But it would be fabulous to attend the game.
  • Buy an alto saxophone
    • During my junior high, high school and freshman year at Baylor. For you collectors out there, I have played a Bundy and Yamaha tenor saxophone and a Yamaha alto saxophone. I would love to purchase a silver alto saxophone. One of my Alpha Phi Omega brothers has a breathtakingly beautiful silver saxophone. One day when I have a house and a study/office/music room, I’m going to buy one. Yes I understand it may take some time but hell all I have is time nowadays.
  • Learn another language
    • Hablo Español pero me gustaría mucho aprender un otra lengua. J’aimerais apprendre le français.
    • One of my favorite artists in the whole history of art is none other than Cheri Lynn Fojtik. Never heard of her? You will one day. Just wait. Who is she? My sister. She is the reason why I have such a strong interest in art. She is the reason why I can appreciate all genres of art and creativity. I am interested to see what other worlds I will be exposed to if I were to visit these museums.
  • Visit the stadiums of my favorite pro sports teams as well as Yankee Stadium, Wrigley Field and Fenway Park.
    • I do not have a very long list of favorite teams so my stadium tour will be mildly short. However, I can already cross two off the list: Minute Maid Park (home of the Houston Astros) and the Toyota Center (home of the Houston Rockets). I have visited Reliant Stadium but not for a Houston Texans game. Yankee Stadium, Wrigley Field and Fenway Park are only on the tour because these are iconic stadiums. However, please note that I would only go if the Astros or the Dodgers were playing the teams that reside in these stadiums. So here’s the list: Dodgers Stadium, Staples Center (not for the flakers ain’t nobody care about them pansies but for the LA Clippers) and Lambeau Field.
  • Fully learn to swim
    • One would think since I have taught three-year olds to swim that I would be able to swim myself right?! Not a chance. Don’t give me the side eye cuz I’ve heard it before. It is easy to teach kids because you’re at the shallow end and that’s deep for them. Besides I almost drowned once. If I do get in the water, I sit at the shallow end.

———————–

The revised list is much shorter than I originally thought it would be. Not that I do not want to accomplish the other items on my original list but I have to be realistic with myself sometimes. So we shall see.

Until then, thanks for reading.

The Southern Yankee

2013 Resolutions

So I’m late in making this but better late than never right.

This year I will not be making conventional or traditional New Year’s resolutions nor will I be making long term goals that are destined to fall by the wayside. No this year, I am all about the short term. Perhaps small two month goals that are:

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Realistic

Timely

Yes I am going to use the SMART goal formula to plan, develop and execute my goals for 2012. I often set goals that I know I can accomplish but I do not actively try to accomplish. I know that sounds confusing but if you knew me trust me you’d understand.

So anyway… here goes nada (forgive the spanglish. I do that A LOT)

Health Goals

1. To stop drinking or only occasionally drink soda.

As it stands now, I have managed to stop drinking soda altogether. Yep that’s right cold frickin’ turkey. I cannot say that I really miss soda all that much. The sugar alone adds pounds to your midsection as well as your thighs, ankles, hips and ass. Do I need to say more? Of course, there will be times when I will have a soda as a reward or a treat. Vanilla Coke is my weakness. I can drink a whole 12-pack by myself. Not in one sitting but given a few days to a week and I can most certainly do it.

2. Walk around the compound twice (2) a week.

Right now it is too cold to start this goal. I figure I will start late February early March. By compound, I mean at my job. One would think we were doing some covert spy type activity in this building instead of television operations.

Writing Goals

1. Write at least one (1) blog post every two (2) weeks.

Seeing as I will not be an active member of my service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega, anymore, I will have more time to write and/or journal. I took a fiction/poetry combination writing class last semester and realized that if I even want to be considered as a viable candidate for the graduate creative writing program at THE University of Houston I need to get my ass in gear and write. I bought a book a few months ago called The Write-Brain Workbook and it has 366 writing exercises to help get the creative juices flowing. I plan to blog about it when I finally sit my ass down to go through it.

2. Submit at least three (3) poems or short stories in writing competitions.

It would be great if other people (besides my friends) liked my writing. It would be great if I could get some feedback about my writing. Constructive feedback mind you not the itsjustnotmycupoftea bullshit I often got last semester. yes that was a minor jab and yes it still irks the fuck out of me

Personal Goals

1. Better budget my finances.

This isn’t a SMART goal. I just really need to be more “adult” about my finances so I decided to try Mint.com at the suggestion of my friend. I also want to eventually buy a house or condo. Buy and maintain a nice grown up vehicle. Have a kid or two. Travel. Live and be debt free! I think I’m making my point pretty clearly yes? Good! My goal is to save at least $50 a month. I do not think this will be hard. I just have to cut out the trips to Starbucks and Panera Bread. That new outlet mall near Galveston has been calling my name. That’ll have to go away too. Lawd help me now!

2. Remove the elephant in my relationship with my mother

My relationship with my mother has been strained for quite some time now. Almost thirteen years to be exact. In my heart, I know what needs to be done. I know at some point the scared little girl inside me has to grow up and become a grown ass woman. I also know that this whole situation is easier talked about behind a computer screen than in person. But I must do it. Not only for myself but for my mother. I’m often jealous of the relationship my sisters and friends have with their moms. They are as simple as tying a shoe or a knot. So why can’t mine be the same? Perhaps I will work on this for Mother’s Day.

School Goals

1. Raise my GPA .2 points to a 3.0 on a 4.0 scale

As mentioned above, I would like to be admitted into the University of Houston Creative Writing Graduate program. this program requires its applicants to have at least a 3.0 overall grade point average. I have a 2.854 which is bad a B- but I can do better. I HAVE to do better. If my calculations are corrected, I only have a few more hours left to graduate. I have to make at least a B in each of those classes. At least! No pressure or anything. I will not be attending classes because I need a fucking break after the bullshit I went through last semester this semester so I have to return to this goal either in the summer or next fall.

2. GRADUATE from the University of Houston.

While this goal will not happen within the year, I decided to list it because this is of the upmost importance and will really determine what happens next in my life. So with that said, I am giving myself two years to graduate even though I have maybe a year’s worth of classes remaining. In that time, I will more than likely take the GRE and the writing portion of the THEA. Hopefully I pass both with flying colors.

We shall see what 2013 will bring me. I’m not expecting to accomplish all of these but I would like to accomplish at least two or three before December 31st.