Chapter VII

I can’t wait to hear more of this novella. One of these days I’m need you to write a book about your ahehe heh heh “adventures”.


Seriously Phoenix. They’re so sporadic and crazy. Definitely worth a shot!


So CT was cute huh?

Oooh yaaaah!

Phoenix! Come back to me! LOL Phoenix!

Huh what? What happened? LOL

By this time, I was laughing so hard my tummy hurt because Phoenix and I are the same person at times. So I already know the level of trouble this could potentially turn into.

For Phoenix’s sake I hope it’s E P I C.

Phoenix and I continue to talk about random things as well usually do.

As I’m talking to Phoenix, a message from Sam pops up.

Mcfly alert! Mcfly alert!

Good gawd what could she have done now.

Waddup dawg?! What that triflin ass hoe do NOW?

What didn’t that bitch do?

True. True…

So check it.. how bout she tried pinning yet another one of her fuck up’s on me. And how bout the fuck up she made was due to the project management group two weeks ago.

Hold up dawg! Two weeks ago?!

Oh no this shit gets better…

it can’t get better.. this shit has cluster fuck written all over it.

How bout she asked me to lead another bullshit conference call about some shit I have no background on that prolly could have been easily talked about in the last bullshit conference call at 09:45 this morning.

Um #chokeamuthafuqnhoe! When da fuck you gettin out from under that hoe. (no pun intended)

Xa, you know I’ve been applying for shit left and right and hoein myself out to companies more than I do for sex.

Yeah dawg I know. I know. Speaking of… have you heard from that one company you were really excited about?

Fuck nah! I even sent that damn inquiry you red marked pillaged me about.

LMAO! I dun told you I’m a writing nazi.

You sho da fuck are asshole!

I’m just tryna make you look good dawg! What about that restaurant chain you interviewed with? The one your non-sexual sugarboo hooked you up with?

Oh shit dawg I didn’t tell you. So the hiring manager was more hype than red bull giving a n***a wings.

LMMFAO nu uh dawg shut up.

Nah fa realz dawg… She talked so fuckin fast I didn’t know what was up from down left from right.

Perhaps Red Bull should lay off the sauce mayne. That or get on some hard liquor.

Nah dawg she ain’t on red bull. She gots meds to take.

Oh well fuck! You went from a crazy clueless airhead bitch who dunno shit to a psycho! That’s just greeeeeeat!

Shut up Xa Red Bull seems chill. Far better than Mcfly.

Sam! C’mon nah! You know ain’t nobody is worse than Mcfly. Well except that drug dealer loving always wanna be on a random piece of chocolate hoe in the desert office.

Ain’t that the damn mutha fucking truth. That nasty dumbass is a piece of fucking work and I’m NOT looking forward to seeing that hoe when I go see the homies in a couple of days.

Make sure to take some Lysol when you go dawg. Disinfect E’RYTHANG that hoe touches.

You sho mutha fuckin right! Let me add that shit to the list nah!

LOL so back to the restaurant interview. What’s next in the process? This was the second interview right?

Yeah dawg it was the second and the HR person is supposed to call today to lemme know where I stand. Everyone on the interview panel seemed impressed with me and the mock ups I presented during the first interview.

My dawg! Gettin’ the fuck off the plantation.

Well, I’m still the only darkie in the bunch but they seem to love a n***a so who am I to say no right?

You sho right dawg especially if there’s a chance to make more and have more creative freedom.

Fuck yea there’s more everything where this job is concerned. And the best part….


You daaaaaaamn right!

Well keep me posted homie.

Will do dawg… Oh. Well. Fuck. Mcfly alert. I can never get a break from this bitch. Lemme go handle her ass and I’ll message you when hear something.


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A Journey into the Life of a Foul-Mouthed Nerdtastic Girl

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