Category Archives: Something to Ponder Tuesdays

Something to Ponder: I’m Not Like Other Girls

My big sis sent this to me the other day and it got me thinking. ha like i need ANYTHING to make me think

Take a gander.

treatment of women

I have to say in my opinion I’m not at all like most girls.

Cliché or not, I pride myself on being different. On not conforming to what religious conservatives deem how my race and gender should behave and look like. For not focusing my life on the media’s portrayal of what a black woman should be.

I’m very much a tomboy who thoroughly enjoys cursing and swearing, watching AND playing sports as well as throwing back a cold brew or a stiff put hair on your chest drank. I talk mad shit wit the boys and make lewd and inappropriate jokes. I’m a car enthusiast and aspiring mechanic. Did I mentioned I fucking HATE dressing like a damn girl? absolutely loathe that shit! You have NO idea!

I have wildly crazy natural hair that seems to have a mind of her own but I don’t nor will I straighten it because someone else tells me to or because society says I’m not pretty. Luquisha is hur to stay bitches!

I have a big ass but I don’t really try to accentuate it to make it seem like my milkshake brings all the boys (or girls) to the yard or even come swarming towards me.

My attitude at times is not because I’m uneducated or don’t got common fucking sense cuz I got a fucking degree from a top notch school mayne but because I like to be funny and adapt to my surroundings and people around me.

Lately, there seems to be a great amount of talk about women and how we should behave, think, feel and exist.

Women are expected dress a certain way otherwise we must be a two dollar hoe just cuz we show some damn skin or boobs or leg.

Women are expected to be more inclined to stay at home, clean house, take care of the churrin stupid grown ass child included, have a hot meal on the table at least twice a day and put out whenever and however the husband pleases.

We can’t be independent and do for ourselves because we’re the weaker sex. We can be sexualized against our will but not sexual on our own accord.

We can’t be President or a coach in the pros.

We cannot possibly be capable of running a successful revenue generating company.

Nope women can’t possibly ever be as omnipresent, professional, deserving of the good life or intelligent as the men who are consistently trying to gain the upper hand by backhandeding their peers. Don’t get it twisted women are just as conniving and ruthless. But unfortunately, women, especially women of color, are under paid significantly compared to a male counterpart in the same position, skill sets and tenure.

Soooooo whachu gettin at Southern Yankee?

This: Women deserve to be treated better. Women deserve to be revered as worthy of anything we put our damn minds too. Young girls like my daughter and nieces should be able to name more than a handful of women who have done something significant in the world’s history.

Women should be afforded the same opportunities as men in everything. Not because we can do everything better because we absolutely can but because the next generation needs to see that. How are we to tell our daughters, nieces, sisters, granddaughters and cousins you can be anything your heart desires if we, the current adults, don’t first set the example? No I’m not saying our sons, brothers, grandsons, etc can’t be whatever they want but in all honesty, boys obviously have it easier unless they’re gay; which then it’s a whole other ball game and certainly a whole other blog post.

Why is it women are good enough to be wives and mothers but not everything else under the sun?

Why are we selfish for wanting a career over family?

Why must we be belittled for having an opinion or fuck even an idea?

Why can’t we be equal citizens under the law instead of being subject to a religiously conservative white male’s opinion of who we are and should be?


Thanks for reading…
the southern yankee 

Something to Ponder for Tuesday, January 3rd

This week’s Something to Ponder topic is “what does your family portrait look like?” Before you start painting your family portrait, there are a few factors you should really think about.

1. What does family mean to you as an individual? Please do not reference the definition listed in Merriam-Webster or Wikipedia because I promise family does not have to be as cut and dry or black and white as it appears in these reference materials. For me, a family does not always have to consist of blood-related persons. A family can be, like most experiences and life lessons, what a person makes of it. You can almost choose who you consider family who you do not.

2. Once you have determined YOUR meaning on family, think who would be included in your family portrait. Would you include people like lifelong friends and their families, co-workers, Greek-lettered organization members, cousins who are more like siblings than cousins, god parents and siblings, etc. Really take the time to make a list(s) of these people because you’d be surprised who would make the list and who wouldn’t.  For example, I often say I have approximately twenty siblings (including my two biological half brothers and step brother), five moms (including my biological mother), two dads (my biological father does not count), a step dad (my mother’s second husband), two nephews and seven nieces (two of which will be born relatively soon).

Now keep in mind that this does not mean your biological family means any less. It just means that there are other people who are there for you “through thick and thin” like your biological family is should be. Notice I said should be… There are people out there who are related and that’s it. The emotional connection of being a family simply is not there. You may care and love them like you’re supposed to but anything past that is pretty much none existent.

For example, despite the fact that she and my Papa (pronounced paw paw) helped raise me, I do not have an emotional bond to my grandmother. She is just my mother’s mother to me. I care about her well-being because I am supposed to as a grandchild. I cannot bring myself to be fake and say oh I love you grandma like I really do love her because I would be lying. Of course, she and I had a horrible relationship when I was growing up and that has always played a major role in my emotional detachment from her. Don’t act like this hasn’t happened to you or someone you know.

Believe me when I say I realize there are biological families who are not quite as dysfunctional as mine. Those families are blessed beyond their wildest dreams.

3. While you were making your list(s), did you determine that you have multiple family portraits? I can honestly say, I have multiple family portraits because truth be told, I am different when I am with certain individuals or groups of people. Take for example, my Delta Omega brothers of Alpha Phi Omega at THE University of Houston. There are members I would proudly call my brother and my family because not only have we truly taken the time to get to know each other outside of the organization but these are the people I know I can count on when it is time for a chapter service project or to handle chapter operations.

So have you decided what your family portrait will look like? Do you have several or just one? And how does this portrait differ from the one that physically hangs in your parents or grandparents homes?

Something to Ponder Tuesdays…

Being that it is the New Year, I have decided to start something new in hopes that I will be motivated to write more. I would also like to receive feedback on my writing and/or my ability to create meaningful writing . On Tuesdays of every week, I am going to post “something to ponder”. These posts will range in topics. It is my hope that other people have had a crazy sort of life much like I have and we all can engage intelligently and respectfully.

Now a little bit of housekeeping: While I welcome feedback, it must be constructive and add to the conversation. I am not here to change anyone’s mind about the topics I bring up or discuss. I am quite aware that most people do not share my opinions on certain topics and that’s okay because well that makes for good conversation.  I am just trying to improve my writing and my scope of writing. With that said, any negative comments will be DELETED.