The Chronicles of Xavier LD Monroe: Chapter V


Hahahahahahahahahahaha ugh shut up!

I’m just sayin!

I finished making my Indian joe. CheddaHed grabbed a snack from the vending machine and we walked into the office. Chatty Cathy and his ugly sister were yap yap yapping away about the stupid game they’ve been playing for the last few weeks.


CheddaHed gives me that “sonofabitch why can’t they shut up” look to which my response was to roll my eyes as usual and go to my desk.


Today was definitely going to be interesting.

With my Indian Joe in hand, I walk the short remaining distance to my cubicle. Ugh I really need to clean up my desk. It looks like a teenager’s room.

Morning Harper Lee.

Hey Xa, how’s it going?

Oh you know me.

Whachu do now?

Why…. Ugh… Don’t go giving me that parental look and tone. You don’t know me.

Oh but I do know you which is why you got the parental tone AND look. Now whachu do?

LOL so wha ha happened was….

Here we go!

Ugh whaaaaat Harper? LOL don’t judge me so soon dang!

Mmmm hmm

Soooo anyway… So there was this girl…

Harper starts laughing just as much as CheddaHed did. I gets no love from the homies today!

She had curly hair didn’t she?

How you know? How do you ALWAYS know? Geeezus I need to stop spilling my guts to you.

Just as I said that here comes Wolverine.

How’s it going?

Xa was just telling me about a curly haired girl.

What’s with you and curly chicks?

I can’t help that I love curly hair. It’s attractive..

But every girl you come across has curly hair.

I dunno! Call it a strange and completely sane fetish!

::raised eyebrows::


You not normal.

You da one to talk Wolverine.

Whachu mean? I’m perfectly normal and of average size.

Hahahahahahahaha that’s not what she said.


Harper, how do you sit next to Xa?

With headphones of course.

What? I’m not that….

Yes you are that bad. Every time we work together, your filthy mind somehow turns the conversation durty.

Obviously, I’m not the only one cuz you be laughing right along with me.

Hahahahaha that’s beside the point.

You just mad cuz you walked right into that one.

Ugh finish your story already…

Yes! Sorry Harper! So this girl… I met her at the dealer…

Lemme guess she had long light brown curly hair.


She was a little shorter than you. Very pretty but very girl next door like…

Blink blink

She made you nervous cuz you always get nervous around the curly haired girls especially if they’re the attractive athletic/fit type.

What the fuck? Y’all don’t know me…

Oh but we do. You creature of profuse habit.

I… Ugh but….

::hysterical loud laughter::

Y’all some bustas! What if I told you this girl was different?

Aren’t they always Xa?

Are they? This one tried to seduce me.

Okay maybe she’s different.

Long story short, I left my iDevice case at the dealer when she sat down next to me, she came after me to return it, she propositioned me, said Bae didn’t have to know which is when I snatched the case and ran.

Bae gon geeeeeeeeet you!

Nah Bae ain’t gon get me today, Wolverine. Not today you hur me?!

I grabbed my letter opener and started tapping the desk.

Damn Harper, why Xa always gotta result to violence?!

Because Xa is crazy and deranged like you. Stop acting brand new.

I’m not crazy per se…

::side eye::

Okay maybe a little.


Curly was fahn as hell but maaaaaan she was a bit too forward and a bit too willing to rattle my cage.

LOL I bet she was aheh heh heh

Well ya know me homie… aheh heh heh

You two are a mess!

Oh Harper you should be accustomed to us acting up.

Yeah I know like a pair of four year old churrin at a candy store.

I ain’t da four year old… Wolverine is the child! Ima grown ass….

Two year old!

Shut it Harper!

We all laugh.

You are about as bad as CheddaHed is with cupcakes.

Harper and I peek over the cubicles towards the Xerox machine. There was CheddaHed pretending not to hear us.

Man! Like you don’t be checking the same thang I do.

You right!

We all laugh again.

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